Reflections: Judge not

Newborn infants are probably the world's premier learners.

They watch. They observe. They can't really comment or judge.

We grow out of that. As we grow, we begin to classify the world and the people around us.

We call some things big and other things small.

In calling things big or small, we deny them their own essential existence. An ant is no longer just an ant. It is now also "small." We have given it an identity relative to ourselves.

This is what it means to pass judgment. It means to cease viewing another person as a whole person (the same goes for ants or situations or whatever). We cease to relate to the person as he is. Rather, we relate to him as an image of ourselves. His existence becomes dependent on ours.

"She is short. He is tall. I am normal."

"He's promiscuous. She's a prude. I am normal."

"She is pleasant. He's annoying. I am normal."

When we judge another, we turn ourselves into both judge and standard of measurement. We make ourselves the center and we make others peripheral.

But we are not truly primary and others are not truly peripheral.

So, when we judge another person, we cease to see them as they truly are. We become unable to relate to them as they truly are. When we judge others, we can only relate to the peripheral image we have created in our minds.

Also, when we judge, we cease to see ourselves as we truly are. Our role of center, judge and standard of measurement is false. By identifying ourselves with this lie, we make ourselves unable to know ourselves as we are.

Both our role of center and our neighbor's role as periphery are constructs of our own mind. As such, we must expend mental energy in creating and sustaining them. We expend mental energy in constructing relationships and interactions between the false center and the false periphery. No wonder this is so tiresome.

We usually go farther than this and actually create a false god in our minds as well. A god, usually, who agrees with us. Sometimes, we create the false god of atheism. A god who only exists in our denial of his existence. The result is much the same whether we invent a god who exists or a god who doesn't exist. Whether we create a god who should be served or a god who should be fought. Either way, we are still using our mental energy to relate to an imaginary construct.

The word "hypocrite" comes from a Greek word once used for actors. It is someone who wears a mask. This is what we become when we judge another person.

Just as dangerous and, perhaps, more tempting, is the impulse to see others as judge and standard and to view ourselves as peripheral. In doing so, we create a false self who exists as a deficiency. Indeed, much of our marketing and economic system seeks to convince us of this very thing.

"She is beautiful. I am not. Perhaps if I worked hard enough I could get fit, afford the right clothes and beauty supplies."

"He is successful. I am not. Perhaps if I worked hard enough I would have more respect. I could get ripped. I could earn a promotion and afford nicer things for my wife."

"They are interesting, witty and funny. If I tried harder, people will think I'm clever and want to hang around me."

We define ourselves with lack. With an absence. Aren't we acting like we think that God didn't do a good enough job with creating? Are we impatient for God to finish his work of creation in us?

The solution?

Jesus instructs us to first remove the log that is in our own eye. To look at ourselves with honesty and honestly remove the ideas and fears which prevent us from seeing and accepting people and circumstances as they are.

Trust in God is the antidote to judgment. To acquire trust in God, it is helpful to set aside time during the week for the spiritual discipline of stillness. This discipline goes by different names in different traditions -- Sabbath, Hesychasm, Mindfulness, Centering Prayer -- so you may already be familiar with it. It usually involves sitting still, and being aware of things without making value judgments or comments about them. Practice letting things be what they are.

God is ever-present. He is with you. Rest.

Marcus Emmons is the priest at Christ Anglican Church, an intentional community of peace and prayer located at 504 Trivista Left St. He may be contacted by email at [email protected].