Sandy Hook mother advocates teaching students love, forgiveness

The Sentinel-Record/Grace Brown KEYNOTE SPEAKER: Scarlett Lewis was the keynote speaker Monday at the annual Arkansas School Counselor Association's annual conference, addressing hundreds of counselors gathered from around the state, at the Hot Springs Convention Center.
The Sentinel-Record/Grace Brown KEYNOTE SPEAKER: Scarlett Lewis was the keynote speaker Monday at the annual Arkansas School Counselor Association's annual conference, addressing hundreds of counselors gathered from around the state, at the Hot Springs Convention Center.

The mother of a 6-year-old killed in the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting stressed the importance Monday of equipping children with social and emotional tools that could prevent mental health and other issues later in life.

Scarlett Lewis, originally from Arkansas, was the keynote speaker at the annual Arkansas School Counselor Association conference, which ends Wednesday, addressing hundreds of counselors gathered from around the state at the Hot Springs Convention Center.

Lewis travels both nationally and internationally, encouraging not only schools but also government officials to mandate education that teaches children about the importance of caring for others, how to cultivate compassion, courage and forgiveness.

Her son, Jesse, was one of 20 students and six teachers gunned down at Sandy Hook in Newtown, Conn., on Dec. 14, 2012. After his death, Lewis founded The Jesse Lewis Choose Love Foundation in memory of her son.

She also created the Choose Love Enrichment Program, which is a free program for schools to teach social and emotional skills to help children understand they always have a choice in how they respond to negative or challenging situations.

"We are not born with social and emotional tools," Lewis said. "We are not born with the ability to manage our emotions and manage conflict. These skills need to be taught."

Lewis described the eulogy she delivered at her son's funeral and how she realized the tragedy had all started with one negative thought in someone's mind that languished in "pain, neglect, isolation and disconnection."

"That is what led to someone doing something," she said. "Most of our thoughts are negative. Our thoughts impact our feelings, which then impacts our behavior. We need to be mindful about what we are choosing to put into our head. A thought can be changed."

She also spoke of the importance of teaching forgiveness, and how staying in a state of anger continues to give the perpetrator of an injustice power over the victim. "There is space, and in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response," Lewis said. "We can always respond with love."

Lewis listed staggering statistics concerning mental health and trauma among young people in the United States. She said 50 percent of children have suffered some type of recent trauma. Almost half of children will have a mental illness by age 18, the majority of which will suffer from anxiety, which, if left untreated, often turns into depression, anger and addiction, she said.

"Society is focusing on the negative," Lewis said. "We continue to scan for dangers every day. It is important to embrace the positive, as well."

She said she believes that social and emotional learning "is the number one way to have safe schools."

External safety measures, like secure doors, do not address the cause of why a young person would decide to commit such a heinous act of violence. Schools also need to "cultivate safety" from the inside out, Lewis said.

"We have to learn how to be resilient, to overcome the obstacles we know are heading our way," Lewis said. "We have to learn how to have healthy relationships, which is the key to happiness in our lives."

Local on 07/10/2018

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