Dear editor:
Ah, dearly beloved, 'tis no earthly pleasure can compare to the sweet caress of gentle enlightenment! But when ye write, use not vain repetitions, for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking (with apologies to Matthew 6:7 and the KJV). Verily, we beseech thee to keep thy blithering succinct.
Yea, it doth seem that Donald J. Trump loveth America and God, probably in that order, yet there is one he surely loveth above all others, and that is Donald J. Trump. And mammon he also loveth much, and we rejoice that he hath not a heathenish middle name nor a dark countenance as did he that ruled in the days before Donald J. Trump was anointed to be a king among us.
Donald J. Trump loveth also the fearful potentates of this world and he hath reserved hellish damnation for the winsome prime minister of Canada. Friends are enemies, up is down, and verily, he doth consort with wicked men and declares that it is good.
And it doth seem that Donald J. Trump extends grace towards all that do but see it and welcome it! His graciousness is great, verily it is huge, because it has thus been revealed by a peculiar priesthood, a cult of Conservative Christians, a funk of fundamentalists who alone among us surely knoweth all things.
And it doth seem that Donald J. Trump loveth not golf courses, yet walks amongst them more than all who came before him. Yea, it is a swampish mystery. And is it not surely that thrice calling upon Benghazi is also a mystery? It is a strange thing, yet who among them is steadfast in seeking the truth that can set their captive minds free?
Verily, my brothers and sisters, again we beseech thee to keep thy blithering succinct.
Brother John Ragland
Hot Springs
Editorial on 06/17/2018