During a recent trip to a fast-food restaurant's drive through, I was almost convinced I was appearing on the Candid Camera television show. A part of me still believes I will be receiving a call from the modern day version of Allen Funt.
I drove up to the restaurant to get lunch for the family. It was one of those national chain fast food places with the double drive through lanes, one to the right and one to the left. I chose the inside, left lane because there wasn't anyone in front of me. So I sat there as the right, outside lane was waited on. Then the second person in the right lane was waited on. I watched and listened as the third, fourth and fifth person in the right lane had their orders taken and pulled up to the window to pay. After the sixth person's order was taken I called into the restaurant and asked if there was a problem with the left hand order lane. The person answering the phone said they would check into it and hung up without giving me an answer. Thankfully after the ninth person's order was taken the intercom sprang to life and I was able to give them my order and pull up in line. I guess there may have been some technical glitch that was worked out after I called and made them aware of the issue.
As I pull forward I am two cars away from the payment window. Since it was a pretty day I decided to leave my window down and that is when I heard the guy who was at the payment window in a very heated way explaining how the order he had picked up previously in the drive through was wrong and he wanted it corrected. That's right, the guy was trying to get a mistaken order fixed by going back through the drive through.
After watching this guy tell three different restaurant employees that he had ordered six breakfast burritos and they had only given him five burritos and a cheeseburger I hoped the problem was corrected when they handed him a new bag of food. But oh no, it wasn't fixed because I had to spectate as the guy counted the ketchup packets he was given and become enraged when he was only given 14 when he had clearly asked for 16 ketchup packets. Many apologies later and what appeared to be an additional dozen ketchup packets the guy went on his way.
So I moved up one spot and was only one car out from the payment window. Surprise, surprise the guy who was currently at the payment window was on his cellphone and kept holding up his index finger in the number 1 sign to the cashier. I hoped he was telling her he only ordered one thing but no he was telling her to hold on while he finished his phone conversation. I timed him, because I'm petty like that. 6 minutes and 22 seconds later the guy hung up his cellphone and reached in his pocket to pay the lady.
Finally, it was my turn at the window. I had correct change down to the penny and was planning on speeding right on through to the pickup window. So I roll up and the lady says, "You had the large, sweet tea". No I said and I repeated the rather lengthy order I had placed. Well she couldn't find the order in her system. She had to call a manager and after he punched what seemed to be an endless stream of numbers into the cash register I had to place my order all over again as they entered it for the second time. Of course on the new order the amount was different by $1.35. I didn't argue I just paid the difference and moved up to the pickup window.
Who to my surprise did I find at the pickup window? My old nemesis the cellphone guy. Luckily he wasn't on his cellphone he was just waiting on his order. I watched as he was handed his order of three large bags and four large drinks. I patiently waited as he checked each bag meticulously to insure he was given everything he had ordered. He thanked the employee in the window and then I sat behind him while he reached into each of the three bags and grabbed a small handful of French fries and ate them. He did not move until he had consumed French fries from each of the three bags.
I pull up to the pickup window in breathless anticipation that I will soon be on my way back home with lunch for my family. I look to the lady in the window with wide-eyed hope and optimism. Unfortunately, my spirits are quickly dashed when she reaches out and hands me a large, sweet tea and nothing else.
Once again I explain that I didn't order a large, sweet tea. She says, "What did you order". I tell her. She says and I quote, "I ain't got nothing like that on the order board. Are you sure that is what you ordered?" I assure her I was quite certain about my order and produced the receipt to prove it. She disappeared around the corner after shutting the pickup window. After what seemed like an eternity she reappears with the manager who instructs me to pull to the side while they gather my order. "It will be right out" they promise me.
Nine minutes and 46 seconds later, remember I'm petty like that, I see an employee headed my way with my order. She hands me my bags and the three drinks I ordered and what do you know she also hands me that large, sweet tea they have been trying to give me for what seems like the past two hours.
I thank her and begin to pull out of the parking lot all the while keeping my eyes peeled for a camera crew to run out and put me on TV. No camera crew or surprise fame for me, just a bunch of greasy, soggy food that some would call heart attacks in a sack.
Oh well, at least I got some food and had a memorable experience. Maybe next time I won't wait until I'm starving to go and pick up lunch. Being hangry (hungry and angry) is never a good thing because who in the south would ever refuse a good ol' sweet tea.
Editorial on 04/07/2019