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Does size matter?

When it comes to Halloween candy, I mean. Is it better to give out full-sized candy bars or the more practical fun size? Is it better to go all out and give the kiddos the full-on candy experience or is it better to give them the cornucopia treatment of a variety of smaller treats?

Of course, I'm so old I don't think fun-size had even been invented when I was trick or treating. However, I do recall this one house we used to trick or treat that would take Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and cut them in half and tape the end closed. Pretty smart idea, I guess. Certainly was more economical than giving all the kids the two-pack. My mom would never let me eat that candy because she was afraid it had been poisoned. Even though the guy that gave them out was our high school guidance counselor. Still, my mom believed in being safe rather than sorry.

I remember all of those horror stories about poisoned candy or apples with razor blades buried inside. Fortunately, I never experienced any of those urban legends but according to the book Candy: A Century of Panic and Pleasure by Samira Kawash in 1959, a California dentist, William Shyne, gave candy-coated laxative pills to trick-or-treaters. He was charged with outrage of public decency and unlawful dispensing of drugs.

In 1964, a disgruntled Long Island, N.Y., woman gave out packages of inedible objects to children who she believed were too old to be trick-or-treating. The packages contained items such as steel wool, dog biscuits, and ant buttons (which were clearly labeled with the word "poison"). Though nobody was injured, she was prosecuted and pleaded guilty to endangering children. The same year it was reported that lye-filled bubble gum had been handed out in Detroit and rat poison given in Philadelphia.

So I guess if you were a sociopath, you would want to go for the larger size candy bars. Easier to hide your dastardly deeds. I mean you couldn't hide a dog biscuit in a fun-size Snicker bar. But, I seriously doubt that full-sized candy bar givers are all sociopaths. Most of them I'm sure are just fun-loving folks who want kids to have a great Halloween.

I, for one, am too cheap to care about the little children having a great Halloween. For me, it is more about economics than enjoyment. Give a kid a bite-sized Baby Ruth along with a miniature Tootsie Roll and call it a night. If the kid is not happy, too bad. Go out and work for your extra-large candy like any other red-blooded American would do.

Therefore, as another Halloween has come and gone I hope you all enjoyed your sweet harvest and expect that your pumpkins are running over with delicious treats.

Moreover, no I really do not think people that hand out full-sized candy bars are sociopaths. The folks that hand out full-sized bags of M&Ms might need to be watched more closely, though. I mean a laxative pill and an M&M are kissing cousins in the candy world.

Editorial on 11/03/2019

Print Headline: Candy-coated chaos

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