We lived in Searcy prior to moving to Hot Springs. While we lived there, I found it strange that the town of Searcy was not located in Searcy County. Upon moving to Hot Springs I discovered the city of Hot Springs was in Garland County, not Hot Spring County. Odd ...
The strangeness did not stop there. Did you know the municipality of Benton is not in Benton County but rather in Saline County?
Then there is the case of Conway, Ark., which one would think, would be located in Conway County but instead is found in Faulkner County.
What is happening here? Why are so many Arkansas cities not located in the county that shares their name? Is there some master plan at work that we are not privy to? It is almost as if the state of Arkansas is playing a major shell game with the cities within its borders. Why? Who would benefit from such a deception?
Some would say that I'm overreaching and this is just a simple case of geographic, cultural and historical incidents that are coincidental. These folks would say that in most of these cases either the county was named first or the city was named first and the other followed without realizing the other entity existed.
However, the cases of this phenomenon are too numerous to ignore. Bradley, Ark., is in Lafayette County not Bradley County. Cleveland is in Conway County instead of Cleveland County. Dallas is in Polk not Dallas County. The city of Lincoln is in Washington County not Lincoln County. Logan is in Benton County not Logan County. The list goes on and on.
Folks, this is entirely too weird to be a coincidence. What forces conspired to move all of these cities from their rightful locations? Dare I say it could be extraterrestrial in nature? This could be some sort of master plan to disguise landing zones for UFOs. Strange lights in the sky are nothing new to Arkansans and now we may know why. Arkansas has become the compass point for an E.T. invasion!
What do these interstellar interlopers have planned for us? Will they enslave us, forcing us to make them cornbread, and iced tea? Will they want us to deep fry rats for them to feast upon? Could they force us to find a way to use our beer to power their spacecraft?
Even worse, would they make us sew sleeves onto all our Lynyrd Skynyrd tee shirts? Or file down our pocketknives so they could be used to pick the galaxy dust out of their toenails. Disgusting.
Ladies and gentlemen, this could be the most terrifying thing we have ever witnessed. Picture these things wriggling out of shadows like a gray snake. Imagine someone or something peering out of the cold metal disc that has landed. It would be indescribable!
Just having a little Halloween fun with you folks. The last paragraph is a paraphrase from the great Orson Welles radio broadcast of War of the Worlds.
October is a fun month in our household and I hope each of you have funny, fright-filled Halloween.Editorial on 10/13/2019
Print Headline: The county conspiracy