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Have you ever wondered what compels people to put unique bumper stickers and accessories on their vehicles? I have.

Take the stick figure family window decals, for instance. You've seen the ones that show the family as stick figures some even include the family pets. Is this some form of tally board? Are these folks so busy they forget the number of people in their family? Alternatively, is it like a scorecard and every time they have a kid or get a new pet they put up another point? It just confuses me because sometimes these stick figures include Bigfoot and zombies. Is that representative of some family dynamic that I am not familiar with?

I saw a unique sticker the other day. It said, "I was an honor student. I don't know what happened." I look back fondly on my high school days as well but I am not sure I would take it this far. Of course, with each passing year, I seem to be getting more absent-minded and names escape me from time to time. So maybe I can relate to this bumper sticker more than I thought.

Another sticker that brought out a chuckle said, "If I go any faster, the hamster will fall off his wheel." Granted the car was small but who in their right mind would think a single hamster could generate the horsepower or hamster power necessary to travel? I would have to question this person's judgment when it comes to vehicle purchases. I certainly understand living within your means but maybe next time look at other options. Possibly consider muskrat power, raccoon power or even opossum power. If you can afford it, of course.

Finally, we come to the most baffling bumper sticker I have ever seen. I was driving down Central Avenue the other day and pulled behind a car that had a very disturbing decal on the back. It said, "I have a perfect body but it's in the trunk and starting to stink." Who would be so brazen as to put this on their car? What is this world coming to? Personal hygiene is no laughing matter. I am sure constructing the "perfect body" requires a lot of hard work in the gym but if you are sweaty after your workouts, please take a shower. There is no need to stink.

I understand that some people think the sun can damage a "perfect body" but riding in the trunk is not the answer. A little tan is good for you. Do not be so extreme that you try to hide from the sun entirely. Go home take a shower and get a little sun, both of them will do you some good.

You just wonder what goes through people's heads sometimes. Why can't more people be normal like me and put a replica of the starship Enterprise from the TV series "Star Trek" on the back of their car? Who doesn't love "Star Trek" and who cannot relate to seeing a spaceship on the back of an SUV?

Get with the program people.

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