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A rock inside

OPINION by Harry Porter | May 2, 2021 at 4:00 a.m.

You ever have one of those days where you would love to talk with someone who is not around anymore? It could be a parent, grandparent or good friend that has passed away. I sometimes find myself wishing I could have a conversation with my mother who died 30 years ago. She always seemed to be able to take whatever tough situation I found myself in and make it seem much less dire. My mom turned around the doomsday scenario I had built in my head on many occasions. She helped me more times than Superman saved Lois Lane and she did not need to wear a cape to get the job done.

Isn't it funny how certain people can have that effect on our lives? Life can feel out of control. Our world can seem to be in total chaos but a simple 10-minute phone call with that person sets our world back on its axis.

The comfort that comes from these individuals is a special thing. When that comfort is lost to you forever, it can be a devastating blow. The pain and sense of loss you feel is revisited upon you each time an event makes you long for their counsel. The bridge they built for you back to safety and sanity is washed away.

Fortunately, for us, life tends to make us stronger and allow us to adapt to those situations as time passes. Things that would have crumbled you in the past now do not. Why? Part of that strength comes from the knowledge the support system you had for all those years is now gone. You know you have to get it together and move forward.

Another and more important component of that inner strength comes from the foundation that confidant built in us over the years. The life lessons and words of wisdom they passed on to us on those many occasions have taken root in us and made us a better person. Through all of those counseling sessions and teachable moments, they have come to inhabit us in a very extraordinary way. Their intelligence, grace and foresight have occupied a place in our very soul. It is now a fountain of wisdom that we can draw on in our times of need.

The next time you feel the need to talk to your special someone who is no longer physically with us, look inward. The time, tears and tenderness they poured into you over the years is right there ready to cascade out and help you.

They never left you. They are still with you and will always be there for you. They are part of you and you are part of them. The bond that was built over those many years is as strong as ever.

You catch yourself giving out the same sage advice they gave to you. My bet is that the person you are giving most of that advice to views you as their rock and the foundation of their sanity. You have become the mentor and are just as valued by the person you help regularly. You have become an extension of the knowledge and lessons that were imparted to you.

The insight and understanding that was seeded in you have sprung forth and are being passed along to the next generation. Your rock is not gone. They are alive and growing every day in the new fields in which you plant their knowledge. Take comfort in knowing their wisdom and spirit will live forever in others.


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