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Cats are weird. I know there are many cat lovers out there but to me, I am sorry, cats are just strange creatures.

Take my family cat, Jewel, for instance. Last night I sat there and watched Jewel as she intensely stared at things that were not there. Jewel followed the invisible object with her eyes and head. She locked on to the object as it floated to the ceiling and back down to the middle of the room. Eventually drifting into another room and out of Jewel's sight.

What was she looking at?

A 2014 study, performed by British researchers, suggested that both cats and dogs see some spectrums of light that we don't, like ultraviolet (UV) light. Cat eyes actually have six to eight times more light-sensors than the human eye. The research found that many animals, including hedgehogs and ferrets, have lenses that allow some ultraviolet light through, suggesting these animals may see ultraviolet.

I personally am not sure that I buy that what Jewel is seeing is ultraviolet light. I think it is just as likely that Jewel is seeing a microscopic alien that has invaded my home. I think these aliens could very well be responsible for such dastardly deeds as leaving the empty soda can beside my chair in the living room. I think these E.T.s are also responsible for removing my coat from the hall closet and throwing it onto the kitchen chair. Thus getting me in trouble with my wife for not hanging up my coat and throwing away my empty can.

On the other hand, could these invisible beings be ghosts that are haunting our home? These pesky poltergeists could be causing havoc. I think they could be placing my wet towels back onto the bathroom floor after I have responsibly placed them into the clothes hamper. It is also very likely that these specters are culpable for short-circuiting my ears and making me not hear my wife's instructions on when to take out the trash.

Even more eerily, I think these phantoms are replacing my healthy salad with a cheeseburger and fries and since they mask it in ultraviolet light, I cannot see the difference. Thusly tricking me into consuming the less healthy food that I obviously would not indulge in had it not been for the deception of this demon.

Therefore, I have changed my mind. Cats are not weird. They are exceptionally intuitive creatures that are on to the tricks and chicanery of both aliens and ghosts. I think we should pay closer attention to our feline friends and embrace their warnings about the unseen intruders.

These trespassers have certainly caused me to get in trouble a lot over the years. Now that I know they are there, thanks to Jewel, I will have someone else to blame when the household rules are broken. Because I am certainly not the one to blame and it is obvious, Jewel has their number. Why else would Jewel be so closely monitoring the situation?

Jewel and I have formed a team much like Scooby Doo and Shaggy from the old Saturday morning cartoons. I cannot wait to unmask these villains and be called a meddling kid.

Editorial on 03/22/2020

Print Headline: Cats versus aliens

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