Words are funny things. Sometimes different words refer to the same thing. For example, when I work around the house on weekends, I put on my jeans, denims, britches, trousers, and dungarees all at the same time. On the other hand, some words seem to mean the same thing but don't. Here are three words that don't mean the same thing, but are often used interchangeably: stress, anxiety, and worry. It's important to understand how these words are different.
Stress is anything that creates tension in our lives. Stress can be pleasant (like a wedding) or unpleasant. Stress is usually caused by circumstances or relationships, but can also be caused by unhealthy ways we're thinking. Life is all about stress and, frankly, I don't think anyone really wants to live totally without it. A goldfish swimming around in a bowl lives a stress-free life. Imagine what an incredibly boring existence that would be.
Anxiety is an involuntary function that humans and many animals have. Our bodies are designed with an anxiety function that enables us to respond quickly to a threatening situation. Without it, close calls become accidents. Signs of anxiety include rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure, muscle tension, sweating, and shallow and rapid breathing. These changes are essential to respond quickly and physically. This is why your heart races after having a close call, by the way.
Worry is a way of thinking that activates anxiety. It often happens when we confuse "facts of life" (things we can't change) with "problems" (things we solve). Worry activates anxiety, and anxiety impairs our ability to think reasonably -- so it becomes a vicious circle.
We cannot control a lot of the stress we encounter in life, and we're not designed to be able control our anxiety response (although there are skills that help manage it). What we can do is work on how we're thinking. Many people don't believe this is possible because their thoughts intrude and get stuck, and they can't fight them off. Trouble is, when we try to fight a thought, it fights back -- it digs in its heels and refuses to budge.
As counterintuitive as it seems, the most effective approach to deal with intrusive thoughts is not to fight them, but to relax and let them in. Much of the time, when we relax and let thoughts in they are less likely to get stuck. Just remember, thoughts and memories can make you miserable, but essentially they are nothing more than brain cells communicating with each other in specific ways -- so they can't hurt you.
If you have trouble with thoughts that keep you anxious and jittery, give us a call at 622-3580. Perhaps we can help.