I have a very strange electrical problem at my house. It seems that when a light switch is turned on it then becomes invisible to my wife and daughter. This peculiar occurrence initially started in my 12-year-old daughter's room but has spread to every room in our house.
Oddly enough, I can still see the light switches when they are in the on position but my wife and daughter simply cannot. The electrical problem is evidently gender-based, which kicks the problem into "The Twilight Zone" level of weird. Is there an alien inside the wiring of my home that uses a transparent green slime to coat the switches and make them undetectable to the women in my house? Is this some sort of frontal assault that is paving a way for the body snatchers that come next?
Did I encounter a witch, perhaps during last Halloween, who I angered and she cast a spell on my switches? Her spell is truly diabolical in that not only am I forced to turn off all of the lights but it is also slowly driving me mad. The witch will only release me from her spell when I make amends for giving her Rasinets in her trick-or-treat bag. If it will make a difference, witch, I will happily give you a whole case of full-sized Snicker Bars to break your treacherous spell.
Perhaps the tooth fairy accidentally spread some of her fairy dust that makes her invisible during her nocturnal visits to harvest the lost teeth of my daughter. This dust was initially on just my daughter's switch but slowly spread through the entire house. Making all switches invisible to the females of the species. I hope that this dust will wear off when my daughter losses all of her baby teeth.
Finally, could it be Amazon's Alexa causing my torment? Is it some plot on behalf of Jeff Bezos and his minions to force me to get light switches that are controlled through the Alexa device? I see ads constantly for "smart switches" and "smart thermostats." Why would I see those so often? Alexa already is too nosy in my opinion and to give her control of our light sources seems suspect, at best. It starts with light switches and ends with a Terminator trying to enslave me. No thank you, Alexa. I will flip switches for the rest of my days if it means keeping humankind safe.
Someday I will find the source of this vile home invader and put an end to whatever is causing it. Perhaps I can train our cat, Jewel, to help my by jumping up and turning out the lights with her claws. Alternatively, maybe our dog Marley can be trained to alert my wife and daughter when they exit a room and leave the lights on.
Come to think of it, neither of those solutions will work. Both Jewel and Marley are females, thus the light switches are invisible to them.
In the words of Snidely Whiplash, "Curses! Foiled again!'